Post available in English and Romanian

A “apartine” este un sentiment? Sau este doar nevoia de a fi aprobat si acceptat? Uneori nu imi dau seama.

Sentimentul ca nu mai apartin intr-un loc a inceput sa apara acum ceva vreme. Si nu vorbesc despre un loc anume, cum ar fi la munca, sau intr-un grup de prieteni. Este un context mult mai larg, intreaga societate de exemplu.

Is “belonging” a feeling? Or is it just the need to feel validated and accepted? Because lately, I can’t tell anymore. 

The feeling of not belonging started to creep up on me some time ago. And I am not talking here about a specific place like work, or a friends group. I am talking about a wider context, take our society for example.

Photo by Samuel Silitonga on Pexels.com

Vecinii sunt din ce in ce mai rai cu fiecare an care trece. Nu ma intelegeti gresit, sunt tanara si uneori dau si eu muzica mai tare. Ei o fac insa prea des. Cand nu asculta muzica, se cearta in mod constant. Atat de rau incat ii stiu dupa nume fara sa ne cunoastem de fapt. Si le stiu si toate problemele cu care se confrunta. Si nu vorbim aici doar de vecinii mei. Nu ii recunoasteti si pe ai vostri?

Daca eu si partenerul meu trecem printr-o criza, discutam pe un ton normal si alegem cea mai buna solutie. Si va rog sa nu imi spuneti ca e normal sa urli intr-o relatie. Nu e nimic “pasional” in certurile zilnice cu cel iubit.

La ora la care plec la munca tramvaiul si metroul sunt de obicei mai goale. Chiar si asa, oamenii ignora total notiunea de spatiu persinal si iti intra efectiv in suflet. Oare o sa invatam sa respectam niste limite, mai ales cand nu este aglomerat?

Ce e cu toate selfie-urile cu masini, vacante, mancaruri, bauturi si haine? Nu inteleg nevoia de a expune fiecare aspect al vietii pe social media. Multe momente ar trebui sa ramane intime. Nu hainele sau vacantele de lux ne implinesc din punct de vedere uman. Daca aveti nevoie de aprobare din partea altora, atunci e ceva ce nu merge bine.

My neighbors are getting worse with each year passing. Don’t get me wrong, I am young and I also listen to louder music sometimes. They do it too often. They also like to constantly yell at each other. It’s gotten to the point that I know them by name without meeting them. I also know about all the problems they are facing. And I am not only talking about my neighbors. Does the description sound familiar?

If my boyfriend and I are facing a crisis, we talk it over at a normal volume and choose the best fix. Please don’t tell me yelling is healthy in a relationship. No guys, it’s not “passionate” to have daily fights with your significant other. 

I go to work and at that hour usually the tram and metro are not full, but still, people choose to ignore any notion of personal space and literally glue themselves to you. Please respect the personal space of others, especially when it’s not crowded.

What is up with all the selfies showing the cars, the vacation, the fancy meals, drinks, and clothes? I don’t get this need to show off every life aspect on social media. Many moments should remain intimate. The clothes or fancy resorts do not magically turn us into accomplished human beings. If you need approval from others, you are doing it wrong.

7 thoughts on “OUT OF PLACE

  1. From my own experience, I can tell that even a feeling of “not belonging” is empowering and liberating. It means we at least know what we DONT want and that, more often than not, is all that matters !!

    As regards your noisy neighbours, let me tell again from my own experience, if its got to a point where their behaviour is making ur life miserable then maybe its about time you let them know about it. There’s no point suffering when the solution might be as simple as a small, affirmative conversation with them. More often than not, solutions are not as difficult or twisted as we think they are !!

    As regards the people on the tram n metro, if they are the same people everytime, maybe you are their lucky charm , they might well be looking forward to catch up wid u. A small conversation with you might be helping them forget all the bad that’s happening with them at that point of time!! Of course, if you are not in a mood to show empathy, maybe you should again try the same thing – let them know – clear n affirmative – that you would want your space !! Maybe they will understand and respect ur decision !!

    All I can say is its not right to suffer and put urself through hardships when you are not the problem. Life gets a lot easier if we can clearly identify the problems and the solutions.

    I am sorry for such a long comment, just couldnt resist putting it out !!
    May you find your peace at the earliest. 🤗☺

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It’s not a long comment, thanks for sharing your thoughts. There’s not much to change. It’s how the mindset works here. A romanian thing if I can say so. But what’s embedded deep into a society is not automatically applied to every single member of that society. And if two persons read this and maybe it changes a bit the way they think and what they prioritize their life…in Romania or somewhere else, then it was worth it. Small steps lead to big changes and each one of us can make a change and maybe realize we should all together work to make the world a bit better.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. The feeling of not belonging is something that has haunted me for the last years. It’s a very sad feeling.
    When it comes to shouting at one’s partner when quarreling, I agree that’s not the way to do it.
    Last, but not least, using public transportation usually renders me mad, so now I’ve got some noise cancelling headphones to do the trick. It works! ❤
    I hope you find enough strength in yourself and your loved ones not to care as much about the environment around you.That's what I'm trying to do as an immigrant, or else I'd go crazy every day. 😉 Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nu stiu daca ma deranjeaza atat de mult comportamentul lor cat faptul ca “normalitatea” (nici nu stiu ce termen sa folosesc) a ajuns sa fie de fapt un defect. Iti vezi de treaba ta fara sa deranjezi? Inevitabil cineva vine si isi baga nasul: “Dar de ce faci asa? E mai bine altfel … uite cum face xulescu si cati bani are el”. Lasi putin spatiu in metrou ca sa nu incomodezi si sa nu fii incomodat, automat vine cineva si se baga in sufletul tau. Incerci sa traiesti o viata cat mai linistita? Te trezesti cu tot felul de intrebari de la vecini/cunoscuti: “Dar cat a costat masina aia, dar din ce an e, cat consuma, de ce nu ati luat alt model…”. Si exemplele pot continua la nesfarsit. E ca si cand nu pot trai fara sa stie daca respiri sau nu, daca esti fercit sau nu, daca ai frigiderul plin sau gol. Daca nu pui poze non stop pe retele din vacante si din fiecare moment al existentei e clar, nu ai bani … esti un trist care sta numai in casa. Si exemplele pot continua. Am ajuns sa ne oglindim valoarea in bani si calatorii si in masinile pe care le conducem, omenia a ramas o calitate care e luata in peste picior.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s